How can I meditate when I can't switch off?

...and other meditation questions answered.

As a yoga teacher & long time advocate of meditation in any form I often hear the words 'How can I meditate when....'

How can I meditate when I can't switch off / stop thinking / clear my mind (or some other variation on this theme) is without a doubt the most common question - but certainly not the only one - so this blog is my way of debunking a few of the myths that these questions seem to reinforce.

How can I meditate when I can't switch off?

Well, here's the good news - you're not really supposed to! If we think about it, meditation isn't about switching off, it's about switching on - to the here & now. Allowing ourselves to simply focus on the now, without distraction. We're not trying to stop our thoughts & feelings, just to let them come & go without getting drawn into them. There's a saying that 'meditation is not about controlling your thoughts, it's about not letting them control you' & I think that pretty much sums it up. I'm almost certain that it would be impossible to totally stop your thoughts. We have so many of them, & we all know what it's like when you try to stop thinking about just one specific thing - it's as though it's the only thing your mind wants to consider! So trying to stop all thoughts is seems like a sure-fire way to make them all appear in rapid succession.

The trick is not to try to switch them off, but to practice observing them. Letting whatever comes to mind do exactly that, be aware of what it is that comes to mind, & then let that thought go without getting involved. And no - that's not easy. We're so used to questioning, digging deeper, even judging things (let's be honest) - & our own thoughts are no exception. We sit down* (or whatever position you choose, see later question!) to meditate & before we know it we catch ourselves going over that conversation we had the other day, planning Tomorrow's presentation, writing a shopping list - or getting involved in any of those thoughts we talked about earlier.

Don't get put off though. Staying on the outskirts of your own thoughts takes practice, & most people have a strategy that helps them - or several, depending on their frame of mind. Something to focus on & come back to when we notice ourselves being distracted by other thoughts. Something that requires enough attention in itself to keep your mind a little occupied, but not so much that it becomes a distraction itself.

For some that's an object like a candle, for others a chant or mantra, or for many it's the breath (check out Three easy breathing exercises to create a sense of calm to explore that idea more).

There are a multitude of variations so I'd encourage you to try different techniques until you discover what works best for you.

How can I meditate when I barely have a minute never mind an hour?

Old Zen proverb meditation meme

Never mind the old Zen proverb that 'you should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day. Unless you're too busy - then you should sit for an hour' , research has shown that just 5 minutes of meditation a day can have a significant impact on stress reduction & emotional coping. So start with what you can manage, & as you gain experience in letting those many distracting thoughts go as you meditate, you may well naturally start to find it easier to stay focused at other times of day too. Before you know it your meditation could actually start to give you back time, as your ability to remain on task improves (which is what that old Zen proverb was getting at...)

How can I meditate when I really struggle with being still?

In the same way as meditation doesn't have to be about keeping the mind totally still, you don't have to be physically still either. We talked earlier about having a point of focus that you keep returning to, to help stay in that role of being an observer of thoughts without getting involved in them. For some that focus is physical. Tai chi, Qi Gong, & some styles of yoga, are all classed as meditative movement styles, & it's also common to use a simple repetitive routine as your meditation 'strategy', giving you just enough focus to avoid getting drawn into your thoughts as they appear. This simple exercise is one of my personal favourites 🩷

How can I meditate when I can't even sit cross legged?

Well, this one's an easy one! If you've read this far then you'll already have heard me talk about meditative practices like Tai Chi & moving meditations, so you might guess that what I'll say here is that sitting cross legged is not compulsory!

Sue kneeling on a yoga bolster - an alternative to sitting cross legged for meditation

Even if a still form of meditation is what you're looking for, the cross legged seating is just an option. It allows you to have a relatively straight, but not rigid spine which is ideal for meditation.

But you can get that sitting on a chair with legs uncrossed & both feet on the floor. Or kneeling on the floor or on a yoga block, bolster or cushion (the picture on the left shows my go to meditation seat). You can also lie down on your back, with your knees bent & feet flat on the floor (a position known as 'constructive rest' in yoga), or sit on the floor with your back against a wall if that's more comfortable.

Comfort is the key when it comes to choosing your position for meditation, as niggles & twinges will absolutely distract you, & although it may not seem that way since we're so used to slouching in comfy seats & sofas, a straight (but not rigid) back is the position least likely to cause us any issues once we become familiar with it.

How can I meditate when I'm not religious or 'spiritual'?

I always answer this question with my own question - what makes you think meditation has to be spiritual?

Celebrities Lady Gaga & Oprah Winfrey (to name just a couple), successful entrepreneurs like Jeff Weiner (Linkedin CEO) & Arianna Huffington (founder of the Huffington Post) & sports personalities including Serena Williams & Tom Daley all swear by meditation for reasons including productivity, focus & stress relief.

And yes, there are spiritual people who advocate meditation. Ram Dass & the late Thich Nhat Hanh are examples here. But I hope that my other examples prove that meditation is for everybody, for all kinds of reasons!

So if that's all pf your questions answered, what is it that's stopping you? If you have other questions I'd love to hear them in the comments, & if you don't know where to start why not check out 'Find your Meditation mojo!' for a helping hand in finding your style!